Time Well Spent: Why Quality Matters More Than Quantity with Preschoolers: Because childhood doesn’t wait, and neither should we.

Dr. Deb Zupito

Preschoolers have a wonderfully upside-down sense of time. They don’t count minutes. They count moments. A tickle at breakfast. A full-body giggle during a kitchen dance party. The way you did every single voice during Storytime, even the squirrel. These are the golden nuggets they hold onto.

The truth is, childhood goes faster than anyone warns you. One day you're wiping banana off the walls, and the next you’re googling how to help them with math you can’t remember learning. I know life is full, work deadlines, reheated coffee, the mountain of laundry you keep pretending not to see, but here’s the good news: you don’t have to do more. You just have to show up.

Fully. Briefly. Intentionally.

Why Just a Few Moments Matter

Connection is not built in the big moments. It’s built in the small, sticky, beautifully chaotic ones. Preschoolers don’t need perfection or Pinterest-worthy plans. They need you, unfiltered and present. For five minutes. Ten tops. No glitter required.

These tiny windows of connection do more than fill their emotional cup. They:

• Anchor their sense of safety – A few moments of your full attention say, You’re safe. You matter.

• Model presence and regulation – When we slow down, breathe, and tune in, they learn to do the same.

• Create an invitation for future connection – When you join their world now, they’re more likely to come to you later, when it really counts.

  
  

Okay, But What If I’m Barely Holding It Together?

You’re not alone. I coach families. I run a preschool. I microwave the same coffee three times before drinking it, and I am a Mom. I get it. Here’s the thing: your child isn’t clocking how long you play, clean, read, or listen. They’re looking for your eyes, your voice, your presence. Even for five minutes. If that feels doable, you’re doing it right.

Try These Real-Life, Real-Parent Moves:

• Create a “Daily 5”: Five minutes. One song. One story. One snuggle. No phone, no distractions. Just show up. It will become their favorite part of the day, and maybe yours too.

• Make chores a party: Laundry? Let them toss socks in like basketballs. Cooking? Give them a spoon. Talk while you do life together. They don’t want perfect. They want in.

• Use the in-betweens: Car rides, bedtime, brushing teeth, these are golden. Ask, “What made you laugh today?” or just sit quietly and let them talk. Or sing. Or demand the Moana soundtrack again.

• Follow their weird little lead: They want to pretend to be a baby tiger? Be the zookeeper. They want to line up cars for no reason? Ask for a tour. It doesn’t have to make sense to matter.

  
  

Let’s Keep It Real

This isn’t about being Super Parent. This is about presence over pressure. Your child doesn’t need all of you all day. They need part of you, all in, for a moment. You’re not trying to win the marathon. You’re just catching them at their pace for a few laps.

And if some days don’t go that way? That’s okay. Repair matters too. “I was busy today, but I missed you. Want to cuddle now?” That’s gold!!!

Free or Almost-Free Ways to Make Moments Count

(A few of my favorite gems for local families, and yes, your preschooler will think they’re magical.)

• Visit the library FREE books. FREE air conditioning. That's a win-win-win.

• Go to the zoo Cape May County Zoo has free admission. It’s stroller-friendly, nature-packed, and perfect for “ooh” and “ahh” moments.

• Explore your town's parks Try Knight Park in Collingswood or Newton Lake Park. Bring a picnic. Let them climb, run, and “discover treasure” (aka rocks and sticks).

• Check out Little Free Libraries

  Swap books, leave a note, start a tradition. Bonus: it models giving and curiosity.

• Dance party at home No cost. Low prep. High impact. Make a playlist with your kid’s favorites and your secretly tolerable ones. You both get your sillies out!

  
  

A Thought to Hold Onto

As the days blur together with meals, messes, and “Mama, watch this!” on repeat, remember this:

Your child isn't asking for more time. They’re asking for you. Not the you that has it all figured out. The you who pauses. Look them in the eye. Laughs at their knock-knock joke even though it doesn’t make sense. The you who shows up, again and again, in the tiny spaces between everything else. In the end, it won't be the perfectly folded laundry or the elaborate activities they remember. It’ll be the moment you sat next to them on the floor, looked them in the eye, and said,I see you. I like being with you. Let’s play!!!