Raising Kind Kids: What Helps Preschoolers Learn to Care, Share, and Connect
- Dr. Deb Zupito
- Jun 22
- 2 min read
Dr. Deb Zupito
Prosocial behavior is what we call the skills that help children get along with others, like sharing, helping, and showing empathy. These behaviors don’t just pop up overnight. They’re shaped by what children see, experience, and feel from the very beginning. This summary walks you through what research tells us about how young children, especially preschoolers, learn to be kind and socially aware, and what adults can do to support them.
Why This Matters
Being able to get along with others isn’t just a "nice to have” skill, it's essential. Studies show that children who develop prosocial behaviors early on are better prepared for school, have healthier relationships, and tend to be happier overall.
Where It All Begins: At Home and in the Brain
Social-emotional development starts from birth and includes recognizing feelings, managing emotions, and forming relationships.
Prosocial behaviors (PSB) often begin to show up before age two, and grow through loving relationships and consistent care.
Kids learn best from the people around them. That means your words, tone, and reactions matter, even when you're not teaching on purpose.
Big Ideas Behind How Kids Learn to Be Kind
Experts have studied different ways children develop social behaviors. Here's a quick look at the main theories:
Behaviorism
This approach focuses on rewards and consequences; think stickers, praise, or timeouts.
While it can be useful in the short term, relying only on rewards may not teach deeper emotional understanding or self-motivation.
Social Learning Theory
Children learn by watching. If they see someone helping or showing kindness, they’re more likely to do it too.
This is why modeling kind behavior is so powerful; your actions teach louder than your words.
Attachment Theory
Secure relationships with caregivers lay the groundwork for empathy and trust.
Children who feel safe and connected tend to explore more, take social risks, and show more compassion toward others.
Ecological Systems Theory
This big-picture view says that a child’s environment, family, school, community, and culture shape their behavior.
Parents and teachers are the most direct influencers in a child’s “microsystem.” Your own experiences, stress levels, and parenting style all impact your child’s social development.
What This Means for You
Preschoolers are learning every day how to navigate the social world. They may get it “wrong” a lot, they may hit, yell, or struggle to take turns, but these are learning moments, not signs of failure. What they need most are caring adults who:
Model kindness, fairness, and calm reactions
Set consistent boundaries with warmth and respect
Offer chances for children to practice empathy and cooperation
Stay curious about what your child’s behavior is trying to communicate
In a Nutshell
Helping children grow into kind, cooperative, and emotionally intelligent people takes more than just discipline or praise. It requires connection, patience, and a deep understanding of how they learn and grow. The good news? You’re already their most important teacher!!!
Recommended Citation
Zupito, D. (2022). Prioritizing Prosocial Behavior for Preschool Children: How are Parents Affecting PSB Development? (Dissertation, Concordia University, St. Paul). Retrieved from https://digitalcommons.csp.edu/edd/37
Dissertation Link: https://proquest.com/docview/2780810734
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