Pumpkins, Patience, and Presence

By: Dr. Deb Zupito

Fall has a way of showing us what it means to let go. The leaves release their hold, the days get shorter, and our homes suddenly fill with half-finished art projects, candy wrappers, and someone’s missing mitten that no one claims.

In parenting, this season is a masterclass in change. The kids are adjusting to new routines, school germs are in full circulation, and someone’s costume idea will change twelve times before Halloween actually arrives. Then just when you get through the candy crash, here comes Thanksgiving, and you’re expected to whip up gratitude while the kids are arguing over who gets the last crescent roll.

This is the season to lean into presence over perfection.

When everything feels busy or a little sticky (and not just from glue sticks), slow it down. Light a candle, sip something warm, and remember that connection doesn’t have to look like a picture-perfect family game night. It can be a five-minute cuddle before bedtime, a shared laugh over pumpkin guts, or letting your child help mash potatoes even if half end up on the floor.

The truth is, children learn the most about patience and gratitude when we model it, not when we lecture about it. They notice when we breathe instead of bark, when we smile instead of sigh, when we say, “That was hard for me too, but we’ll figure it out together.”

Here are a few at-home fall connection ideas that don’t require fancy supplies or an ounce of Pinterest perfection:

• The “Gratitude Grab Bag.” Every night, toss in a note about something that made you smile. Read them aloud on Thanksgiving, or whenever you need a reset.

• Pumpkin Palooza. Skip the carving stress. Paint, sticker, or even dress up your pumpkins. Let them reflect each child’s personality.

• Soup and Snuggle Nights. Make a simple meal (canned soup counts) and pick a short family show or book to enjoy together.

• Leaf Walks. Bundle up and collect your favorite leaves. Then, just for fun, make up stories about what those trees might have seen this year.

• Sick-Day Sanctuary. When the inevitable sniffles arrive, build a “cozy corner” with tissues, water, and a stack of favorite books. Rest becomes a ritual, not a punishment.

  
  

As we move from Halloween chaos to Thanksgiving gratitude, remember that the goal isn’t to keep everything together, it’s to keep showing up, together. Parenting is full of seasons. Some are vibrant and easy, others messy and muddy, but all of them are part of our children’s roots.

So take a deep breath, pour another cup of something warm, and give yourself credit. You’re growing right alongside them.