When the Holidays End, Nervous Systems Catch Up, A January Guide for Parents and Educators

Dr. Deb Zupito

January often arrives with an unspoken question from adults everywhere, Why are children acting like this?

The holidays bring joy, connection, and a sense of magic. They also bring late nights, extra screens, new toys, sugar on sugar, travel, big gatherings, relaxed routines, and lots of excitement packed into a short window. Even the best moments ask a lot of a child’s developing nervous system.

When children return to daily life feeling more emotional, impulsive, tired, or reactive, it is not surprising. It is expected. This is not misbehavior. This is a nervous system catching up.

What Is Happening Beneath the Behavior

Children’s nervous systems thrive on predictability, rhythm, and emotional safety. During extended breaks, structure loosens while stimulation increases. The nervous system stays activated, processing novelty after novelty.

Research in interpersonal neurobiology, including the work of Dan Siegel, shows that when emotional intensity rises, access to the thinking and reasoning parts of the brain decreases. Children react before they can reflect.

Bruce Perry reminds us that regulation always comes before reasoning. Calm cannot be explained into existence. It is built through safety, repetition, and relationship.

From a nervous system perspective, January is not a reset. It is a recalibration.

Why Co-Regulation, Attention, and Presence Matter Right Now

Children do not regulate alone. They borrow regulation from the adults around them. This is biology, not dependence.

After the holidays, children often need more focused adult attention, not more correction. Eye contact, proximity, shared moments, and predictable responses signal safety faster than words ever could.

This does not require long lectures or perfect days. It requires presence.

A few minutes of undivided attention can settle a nervous system more effectively than a full explanation delivered from across the room.

Do Not Forget the Power of Fun

Here is the part adults often skip in January, and it matters more than we think. Fun is regulating.

Play, laughter, movement, silliness, and shared joy help nervous systems reset. Fun lowers stress hormones, increases connection, and restores a sense of safety and belonging. For children, fun is not extra. It is essential.

After a break filled with excitement and novelty, returning to a structured routine without joy can feel jarring. When adults intentionally weave fun into routines, regulation follows more easily.

Fun does not mean chaos. It means shared joy within safe boundaries.

Sing while cleaning up. Turn transitions into games. Add movement to learning. Laugh together. Be human together. Be YOU!

What Adults Might Notice Right Now

Parents may notice an increase in meltdowns, sleep disruptions, separation struggles, or significant reactions to minor limits. Educators may notice difficulty with transitions, peer conflict, shorter attention spans, and emotional volatility.

This does not mean that children have forgotten how to behave. It means their nervous systems are adjusting back to structure. Think of it like returning to work after vacation and opening a very full inbox. You still know how to do your job. You just need time, focus, and maybe a deep breath.

Children are no different.

How Parents and Educators Can Support Regulation in January

January calls for calm structure paired with connection and joy!

Lower demands briefly without lowering boundaries.Increase movement, rhythm, and predictable routines. Use fewer words when emotions are high. Offer attention before correction. Intentionally build moments of play and fun into your day. Name what you see without urgency or judgment.

For educators, relationships lead to learning in January. Review expectations gently. Add regulation breaks and playful connection. Children settle faster when classrooms feel safe and alive, not just organized.

For parents, consistency with empathy is far more effective than pressure. If things feel harder before they feel easier, you are not doing anything wrong. You are supporting a nervous system in transition.

A New Year Mantra for Parents and Educators

January's behavior is not a discipline issue. It is a regulation and connection that requires adult support.

As we step into the new year, here is the mantra I offer families and classrooms alike,

Slow is supportive. Attention builds safety. Fun fuels regulation. Connection is productive. Peace is built together.

The new year does not ask children to perform better. It invites adults to support better.

January is not about fixing kids. It is about guiding nervous systems back to balance, with presence, play, and a little laughter along the way. And yes, you are allowed to have fun too!!!