What Were We Thinking? Parenting, Chaos, and the Truth About “Normal”

Dr. Deb Zupito

The other day I came across a post that made me laugh out loud:

Parent sees kids acting like total lunatics.

Parent: “What is wrong with these kids?”

Other parent: “Nothing. They’re completely normal.

”Parent: “This is NORMAL?”

Other parent: “Yep.”

Parent: “Oh no, what were we thinking?”

If you’ve ever had that thought, welcome to the club. Parenting has a way of taking us from heart-melting hugs to full-scale meltdowns in a matter of seconds. One minute they’re whispering, “I love you,” and the next they’re sobbing on the floor because you dared to cut their sandwich into triangles instead of squares.

The Truth About “Normal”

Here’s the thing: chaos is not the exception, it’s the rule. Kids are loud, silly, dramatic, and sometimes completely irrational, and it’s exactly how they’re supposed to be. Their brains are still wiring up self-control, patience, and perspective.

So yes, screaming because you gave them the “wrong” fork? Normal.Throwing their sock in the toilet for no apparent reason? Normal.Asking for a snack while holding the one they just begged for? Normal.

As maddening as it feels, these lunatic moments are actually critical practice sessions for empathy, resilience, and problem-solving.

The Parent Side

Of course, just because it’s normal doesn’t mean it feels easy. That’s usually when parents start asking, “Can I do this better? Can this feel easier?” The answer is yes. This is where I step in as Dr. Deb, bringing both expertise and heart, along with simple, steady, supportive parenting tools and resources. These tools help parents see their children through a new lens, one that honors family values, brain science, and respectful communication. They are practical, everyday strategies that remind us of something bigger than the moment: connection will always matter more than perfection.

So, What Were We Thinking?

We were thinking love is worth it. We were thinking raising kids would be hard, hilarious, humbling, and beautiful, and we were right.

So the next time your child is bouncing off the walls, melting down, or you are just plain losing it, take a deep breath and whisper, This is normal. Then smile, because you’re doing the most important work there! If you’re ready to swap chaos for connection, join me at Treehouse Minds for workshops and coaching that bring humor, heart, and science together to make family life lighter!