The Garden of Childhood: Why Presence Matters?

Dr. Deb Zupito

Have you ever noticed how kids have a sixth sense for when you are distracted? The second you pick up your phone, suddenly it is urgent; they need a snack, they need help, they need to tell you that their socks feel funny. I have been there. Life is busy, meltdowns do not wait for good timing, and sometimes it feels like you are juggling flaming torches while riding a bike uphill.

This is not about blame. Parenting is hard, and none of us get it right all the time. The point is not perfection, it is presence. Because here is the truth: to our children, we are the entire world. They are not tracking your to-do list, they are tracking you. They are watching, waiting, and learning what it feels like to be loved, listened to, and noticed. And when we do not show up, when we rush past, when we brush them aside, it is not just a missed moment. It is like forgetting to water a garden.

Children Are Like Gardens

Children, like seedlings, need more than one thing.

• Soil that is steady and safe: boundaries, routines, and a foundation they can count on.

• Water that nurtures: love, attention, and comfort when the world feels too big.

• Sunlight that warms: joy, laughter, and the simple presence of a parent who looks up and smiles.

• Consistent care: patience, listening, and time.

A garden cannot flourish without all of these, and neither can a child.

Presence Doesn’t Require Perfection

The good news is that presence does not require hours of crafts or endless entertainment. It can be as simple as:

• Ten minutes of play or one on one time

• One more story before bed or 5 more minutes of cuddle time

• Listening when your child explains the difference between two dinosaurs for the fifteenth time and asking more questions

Children are always sharing. Sometimes loudly, sometimes quietly, but only if we are tuned in do we truly hear them.

It Takes a Village

Even gardens need tending from more than one set of hands. Parenting was never meant to be a solo act. You are not supposed to just know how to do it all.

We all need support, encouragement, and guidance to stay grounded and steady. Resources like Zero to Three offer incredible insight into child development, but sometimes what makes the biggest difference is simply having someone to walk alongside you. That is where I come in. Supporting parents, creating community, and helping you feel less alone in this work is part of the soil, water, sunlight, and care you deserve, too.

A Gentle Nudge

Pause, reflect, and ask yourself, Am I showing up in the way my child needs me to today? Then take one small step, whether it’s a game of pretend, an extra story, or simple eye contact during snack time.

Our kids are watching. They are learning who they are by how we show up. And just like a garden, they will grow best when nurtured with love, attention, and care. And just like gardeners, parents need tools, support, and community. None of us is meant to do this alone.

Ready to Grow? Join Me for FREE

If you are ready to grow your parenting journey with more presence, connection, and peace, I invite you to join my FREE Zoom session:

From Frustration to Peace and Connection👉 Click here to register

Together, we will explore practical tools, grounding strategies, and ways to bring more joy into the garden of childhood. You don’t have to do this alone…let’s grow together