Finding the Heart of the Holidays this Season! Managing Commercialism Wish Lists and the Very Long Holiday To Do List!

Dr. Deb Zupito

The holiday season can feel big for parents. Children are excited, stores are loud, expectations are high, and the to do list seems to grow daily. Many families feel caught between wanting to make magic and trying not to drown in the pressure of buying, planning, and doing it all.

The good news is that children do not need more. They need us. They need connection, tradition, and simple moments that feel safe and loving. Here are ways to bring the heart of the season back into your home and help children understand giving, sharing, and what this time of year truly represents.

A Quick Story About Expectation and the Things That Do Not Matter

A parent once told me they worked for hours on a perfect holiday centerpiece. It had greenery, candles, a bow that they redid four times, and a table runner they ironed even though they swore they hated ironing! They were so proud to show their children and show it off to the family.

The children and family walked in, looked at the table, and said “Hey, can we move this so we have room for our board game” That was it. All that work, all that pressure, all that perfection, gone in one simple request. The parent laughed later and said “They never cared about the centerpiece. They cared about the game.” This is the reminder we all need. Our children are not asking us for perfect. They are asking us for presence.

Talking With Children About Gifts Without Losing the Meaning

Holiday advertising and bright displays can make children believe that more is better. You can honor their excitement while teaching balance.

Keep it simple and kind! Try saying: “Let us think about the things that will bring you the most joy. We do not need a long list. We can focus on what matters most.”

Focus on gratitude! Ask: “What would you enjoy the most and why”“What can we give away to make space for new things coming into our home”

Shift the attention to givingAsk: “Who can we surprise with kindness this year”“What small gesture would make someone feel loved”. These moments build empathy and keep the season grounded.

Breaking Free from the Holiday To Do List

You do not need to create a perfect holiday. Perfection is not what children remember. They remember how they felt with you. Choose three things that matter most to your family this year. Maybe it is cooking together, lighting candles, reading stories, or a calm morning with soft music.Let the rest fall away.

You can even say: “This year we are choosing what brings us joy. We are leaving anything that feels too hard or too busy.” This teaches children that boundaries, rest, and choice are healthy parts of family life.

Low-Cost Fun and Home Holiday Ideas: Here are simple and meaningful ideas that cost little and bring connection

• Family movie night: Warm blankets, popcorn, and a seasonal movie.

• Kindness chain: Write one kind thing you did or noticed each day and link the papers together.

• Cozy craft night: Paper decorationsHand drawn cardsHomemade ornaments from nature

• Story night: Read seasonal stories by candlelight or holiday lights.

• Baking together: Simple recipes carry the most joy.

• Neighborhood walk: Bundle up and look at lights or decorations.

• Family giving project: A small act of serviceDonate warm itemsMake treats for a neighborLeave a kind note for someone who needs one

Helping Children Understand What the Season Is Truly About

Children learn by watching us. If we show calm, gratitude, patience, and joy, they often follow.

Try creating a simple family message“In our home the holidays are about love, giving, and time together” When your child feels overwhelmed, gently guide them back“What are we thankful for today”“What moment felt special to you” “What made you feel loved today”?

A Gentle Reminder for Parents

You are not responsible for creating a flawless holiday. You are responsible for creating a loving one. Connection is what children carry into adulthood. The small things are the magic...Enjoy the magic of the season!